Did I Use The “L” Word Too Soon?

by - 8:25 PM


I’ve been dating this guy for three months. He has a kid whose mom he left 4 months ago because they were unhappy. I try to be creative in showing how I feel. I wrote him a letter expressing my deep feelings, telling him I love him.

He tells me what he loves about me, but he never says, "I love you." So I thought I should let it out. It was killing me. At 28, after a bad relationship, I didn’t think I could love again, but I do.

Did I use the “L” word too soon? When he got my letter, he called to say how much he liked it and how much it meant to him. Am I moving too fast? 

—Fallen Deeply


Dear Fallen,

Timepiece, please!  It’s too late to ask whether you used the “L” word too soon.  And it’s too soon to place demands on a guy who recently left his woman and child. 

Granted, this man is hot. But you uttered words of endearment because masking them was “killing” you.  Cool off long enough to ask how he is feeling after leaving his family, and how he plans to navigate life with his child. He needs to work these out, despite “loving” your qualities.

Let your young affair progress naturally. As my Gilda-Gram warns,

“Love that is not mutual is merely hero worship.” 

If you push too hard, you’ll inhabit the same outhouse as his baby’s mama. 

—Dr. Gilda

Do you agree with Dr. Gilda’s advice? Do you have your own? Share it in the comments below.

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