When a Single pursues a mate who belongs to someone else, it’s a clear sign that she herself fears intimacy. Somewhere in her unconscious, she believes that she doesn’t deserve a mate of her own, and she probably suffers from a case of low self-esteem.

In her thinking, whether conscious or unconscious, she would feel better about herself as the winner of a mate’s affections in a tough competition. This is a triad that replays the childhood game of mommy, daddy, and baby-makes-three, where baby continues to compete for the attention of one parent over another. That’s the motive usually behind a Single who competes against a would-be mate’s spouse.

Usually, the outsider must play to her unavailable mate’s schedule, which makes her own life insignificant. But even if she eventually wins the love of her otherwise attached crush, Trust is the immeasurable ability to count on your partner as much as you can count on yourself. The partner you may have stolen away from his spouse now has a history of cheating. Since he’s already done so before, he’s destined to repeat his disloyalty. But even if a Single would rather believe he won’t, how can she ever be sure?

Singles who continue to pursue unavailable partners must discover the reason they avoid a lover who is emotionally and physically within reach. It usually centers on what she believes she deserves. A person’s Deserve Level sets the stage for which she achieves everything or nothing in her life. If a woman doesn’t feel she deserves to have a happy and monogamous relationship, this Deserve Level will dictate her future. When she raises her Deserve Level, that level is what magically appears.