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Dear Dr. Gilda,
Before
taking your class, I didn’t even know that I was lost
in life. I thought things were going fine, not realizing that
“I” (with a Capital) was missing from the equation,
because I was so busy handling everyone else’s problems.
Your self-assessments and class discussions
have helped me rediscover myself, set boundaries, and grow.
In your book, “Don’t Bet on the Prince!,”
I cried my eyes out completing Assessment #6, “Do I Put
Myself First?” I discovered how resistant I was to honoring
my own priorities. This was an eye-opener for me.
I
refuse to let people take advantage of me anymore. I have an
issue exploding right now at work where I’ve been treated
unfairly. Because of you, I am able to stand up for my rights.
The old me would have spoken meekly to my boss, and that’s
as far as it would have gone. No more, though.
You
have also helped me in my marriage. Of course, I continue to
do a lot for my family, but I am now aware that I have needs
and wants that must come first sometimes. And I communicate
them without feeling guilty. For everything, thank you!
- Lisa Pegues |
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Dr. Gilda:
I cannot
thank you enough for such a wonderful and encouraging class.
Yours was by far the best class at Mercy College! Your book,
“Don’t Bet on the Prince!,” is amazing, and
it made me realize my self-worth on a different level. One of
the things I pride myself on is my awareness—but there
were things I learned about myself that I was not aware of.
I cannot thank you enough!! I am truly going to miss you!
Luv,
- Christine Magner |
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Hiya Dr. Gilda,
I
finally had the opportunity to use what you taught me. My manager
asked me to prepare a presentation for the Department Vice President,
the Senior Executive Vice President, and the President of the
Company. I felt no anxiety, just a desire to show who I am,
what I have learned, and what I can do. After my presentation,
on his way out, the President stopped by my desk to shake my
hand, and compliment me!
Thank you,
Dr. Gilda. Without your experience, strength and teaching, I
could not have projected your concept of my power image on these
very influential people.
- Larry Crilley |
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Dear Dr. Gilda,
Thank
you for everything!! You have truly been a LIFE SAVER. No one
knows just how much. I think that without you, I would still
be in the doldrums somewhere, LOST.
I
speak to all my friends about your book, “Don’t
Bet on the Prince!” God Speed to you.
- Cathy Charles |
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Dear Dr. Gilda,
I
wanted to take this time out to personally thank you for providing
insight into my misguided parenting. You helped me see
the dangers of self-indulgence, and of living my life vicariously
through my children. I learned the need to let go. I know now
that some things need to be experienced by my children themselves.
- Gregory Baxter |
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Dear Dr. Gilda,
I
learned a lot about myself from Self Assessment #4, “Ask
for What I Need and Want” in your book, “Don’t
Bet on the Prince!” I compare myself to the person I was
10 years ago, 5 years ago, 2 years ago and today. How I’ve
changed! Ten years ago, I wouldn’t even have considered
asking for what I needed or wanted. Five years ago, I would
have asked what people other than myself needed or wanted. Two
years ago, I would have avoided the question all together because
I would have been embarrassed for needing or wanting anything.
But today, I have found my voice. A bit quiet at first, but
I‘m getting the hang of it. My voice has become quite
pronounced, and now I notice there are people who want to listen,
and people who can’t help but listen. I have surprised
myself with my progress.
Thank
you for everything. You really touched my life in ways that
I will never forget and will always be grateful for. I can see
the growth and personal achievements in every one of us in the
class. We will each walk away a richer person. You have given
us all a truly special gift, and again, I thank you. You are
really a beautiful person.
Forever your student,
- Nora Durling |
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Dear Dr. Gilda,
I
want to say thank you for a great learning experience. I feel
that I have grown so much in the little time we had together.
I don't like saying goodbye’s, so I ran out of class last
night, as soon as it was over.
In my whole 28 years of living on this earth, I have never
met anyone like you, so loving, giving, sharing, and kind. I'm
sure that you are blessed, but I know that there are so many
more blessings out there for you, because of the work you are
doing, and it all comes from your heart.
Who would have thought that I would have the famous Dr. Gilda
for one of my professors at Mercy College? It’s not like
it's NYU or some other big name college!
I wanted to say thank you for what you have done for me. Your
class and your book, “Don’t Bet on the Prince!,”
will help me be a better person, and I will continue to work
on me. I just can't say thank you enough.
I will be keeping in touch. May God continue to shower you with
His blessings.
- Aisha Shinaul |
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Dear Dr. Gilda,
I
felt like I needed an oxygen mask as I started to write Self-Assessment
#1, “My Story” from your book, “Don’t
Bet on the Prince!” Why was it necessary for me to go
through so much heartache for so many years? When I had opportunities
to change, I backed away, making excuses all the time. Why was
it necessary to have everybody's support in order to make positive
changes in my own life?
Since last
Wednesday, I haven’t put your book down. It is the last
thing I read before I close my eyes at night. What I am learning
is that I and only I must decide what is best for me. In
doing these Self-Assessments, I realized that I lost so much
of myself. I had the opportunity to exercise my rights many
times, but never wanted to rock the boat, always feeling that
others knew what was better for me. Also, I learned that
I never had positive goals. I let people and things around me
set a "cap" on what I needed. What a terrible thing
to allow others to dominate me! I wondered how I could have
ignored the constant lessons that kept coming up in different
forms during my life. But your last words to me today were,
"When the student is ready, the teacher appears."
Thank you very much for being my teacher. You appeared at the
beginning of my new journey. I shared this with my children.
My daughter is busy reading your book, “Teen Talk
with Dr. Gilda” and has read 100+ pages since I gave it
to her.
I am getting better every
day. I realize, Dr. Gilda, how overwhelmed I had been for so
long. I take it minute by minute. Once again, I thank
you for all the best you've wished for me. God has richly
blessed you. Stay healthy and well.
Sincerely,
- Annie Samson |
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Dear Dr. Gilda,
You are the reason I keep pressing
on. You are an inspiration, and your books encourage me to
know that no matter what the obstacle, as long as I have faith
and confidence in myself, I will eventually come out the victor.
If I had a different professor during
this time, I would have dropped out of school. But you make
it your personal business to keep us going. That is the reason
I kept coming to class: it was like the therapy I needed,
you know? It was my get-away...
When I write a book about my life,
I would like to dedicate it to you, and quote a few of your
Gilda Grams, and refer people to you, and recommend they read
your books. I'm serious. You are a great inspiration to me!
Love,
- Patricia Wakhu-Parker |
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Dear Dr. Gilda,
Please nurture your great sense of
humor and vivacity. Your vivacious character and bubbly personality
are able to illuminate any measure of darkness. What impresses
me most is that these traits are so genuine. I deeply appreciate
your concern for all of us. Though many times I fail to take
your advice, it's not because I don't want to, but because
of circumstances beyond my current control. I know I need
to slow down. Maybe you need to tell me how you are able to
keep such a tight schedule yourself, and still maintain such
a high energy level. Let me in on the secret, Dr. Gilda!
You are precious! Keep sweet, and
we all love you. Thanks for keeping it REAL!
Love ya,
- Pauline E. Whyte |
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Dear Dr. Gilda,
Thank
you very much for your reply to my Personal E-Mail Dialogue.
You are very insightful. Your astute advice has helped me end
my relationship. We have decided to meet and talk as you suggested,
and now the end appears to be taking care of itself. I appreciate
your insight.
- Name Withheld |
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Dear Dr. Gilda,
I wanted to update you, or more specifically,
thank you. Because of you, and the advice you give in your
classes, I have now been promoted! I got the news yesterday
from my boss. I will be receiving additional responsibilities,
and will now have 5 people reporting to me. I'm a bit nervous
about that, but I look forward to the challenge. The clincher
was when the VP pulled me into someone's office to congratulate
me personally.
Because you taught me to speak up
and to go for what I want, I sold my abilities and was included
in upper management meetings. My organizational skills and
take-charge attitude were a few reasons mentioned about why
I was given this promotion. I am wiser, and soon to be richer—thanks
to you.
Thank you for everything.
- Jodi Hauptman |
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Dear Dr. Gilda,
I want to say that you were right.
My mom finally got divorced, and it took her some time, but
she DID get over it. My mother is my best friend, and all
your insightful words made her realize that there is life
after marriage. She has worked hard on making herself happy,
and now she is surrounded by positive energy and no longer
gives everything to everybody from the core, thanks to your
book, “Don’t Bet on the Prince!” !!!!!!
Thank you for your kind words and advice. IT IS GREATLY APPRECIATED.
I thought about you frequently during
my surgeries. While recuperating, I often read your words
of wisdom in "In Touch" Magazine. During the holidays, all I could think
about was my sweet grandmother who passed away. Then I thought
about you and your mother. I have become much stronger as
a result of your class. I make sure that my happiness and
well-being are first on my list of priorities. Again, thank
you!
Sincerely,
- Jasmin Carrasquillo |
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Dear Dr. Gilda,
You
have truly helped me see who I am and the woman I want to be.
I never expected to learn so much from a Business course.
You are truly a special and gifted person. You have a
unique way of allowing people to be honest with you, and I will
never forget what I have learned from you. Thank you so much,
Dr. Gilda.
xoxo
- Taryn Leung |
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Dear Dr. Gilda,
I’m
glad you included your students when you e-mailed the transcript
of your appearance on NBC’s TODAY SHOW. It’s great
to see a professor extend herself beyond the boundaries of the
classroom.
You taught us to be on
our guard because people wear masks. I don’t see you wearing
a mask. It’s a rare and wonderful quality to see
in someone. You’ve touched me more than you can imagine.
And I am constantly repeating your Gilda-Gram, "Praise
and blame are both the same." Thank you for being someone
to emulate.
- James Rogan |
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Dear Dr. Gilda,
I
had the pleasure of being your student for The Psychology of
Communication at the Manhattan campus. I am sure that you do
not remember me, but I could never forget you. You have an overpowering
ability to touch the lives of others. Your class offered an
experience that was meaningful and unforgettable. Thank you!
- Keneisha Platt-Mckie |
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Dear Dr. Gilda,
I'm
thrilled to receive an answer so quickly for my Personal Dialogue
with Dr. Gilda. Thank you! You say I should be "a killer at
work and a kitten at love." Yikes! Can't I just be Cinderella?
No, I suppose not. Been there, done that anyway. Guess we will
just ride this wave. Thank you again. I will be in touch. What
a great service you provide!!
- Name Withheld
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Dear Dr. Gilda,
I
hope you continue to teach graduate courses at Con Edison in
the future. We had a blast in your course, especially during
our Henny Penny reenactments of the roles of leadership and
followership. Those skits we did were hysterical. You have that
special way of bringing to light our "inner thoughts," which
then makes us reflect more deeply on who we really are as people.
Best of all, you made the class FUN.
THANK YOU for being you!
- Wayne Westervelt |
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Dear Dr. Gilda,
I want to take this opportunity to thank you for the advice you have given me
during the course of my college study because it finally paid off.
I had been working for a certain company and dealing with a lot of depressing issues, which I
believe would have caused me to lose my mind totally by now.But thanks to your book, "Don't Bet
On The Prince!," and the classes I have taken with you, I was able to handle the situation and
maintain my sanity.
Last year, this company's recruiter contacted me and asked if I would consider a position with their
company.During this time, I had a job I was recognized at and was doing well at.But she sold the
company to me with a decent salary.
My training at the company wasn't exactly top of the line. I went through two weeks of taking notes
and reading a lot of literature. Afterwards, I was told to head to my location.
Once there, things were not the way I had anticipated. There was a complete lack of structure
and follow-up. After a while, I became worried and frustrated because I was not close to my performance
expectations.When I brought this the attention of my District Manager, she assured me that I should not worry
about it because it was holiday season, which was the toughest time to train someone, and when it slowed down,
I would be trained. Holiday season came and went and I received no training. My manager quit and I was the
only manager in the building.Now the challenge became unbearable. I got a new acting manager who was not
supportive and very critical. In addition, it was rumored that the building would be closing in three months.
Therefore, no one really cared.
I was going home every night feeling depressed and inadequate. I had a meeting with my District Manager
and broke down. Never had I held a position where I did not perform well above average, and this was weighing
me down a whole lot, I hated waking up in the morning to go to work, and something had to give.
I decided to re-read your book, "Don't Bet On The Prince!" and go over the notes I had taken
during your class. This started to open my eyes. I realized that I am the only one who knows my capabilities
and limits, and I shouldn't let the situation break me down. I realized I had settled instead of fighting and
putting myself first. I decided to do for me.
My first move was to start looking for another job. It only took a week before I was hired somewhere else.
This alone started to bring my confidence level back up because I realized that I was good at what I did and
that I just needed a reminder. I continued reading your book and made it a point to totally disassociate
myself from all the drama.
It was your book that got me to snap out of it, and leave that unhealthy environment. It helped me take
back what was mine: my pride, my integrity and my work ethic. I regained my confidence and remembered that
the sky is my limit.
I am now back to where I used to be. My current District Manager and immediate manager already see my
potential and are nurturing me towards success by working with me to understand the full nature of the
business. I love going to work, too. Thank you, Dr. Gilda :-)
Much love,
-Patricia Wakhu Parker
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Dear Dr. Gilda,
Your book, "Don't Bet on the Prince!," was a bargain, and it
will be the only textbook I will ever look at after the class is over! I took your advice and
networked my way right into a new job! I will be leaving my company after 20 years, and starting
a new job next month! I look at it as an easy payoff for my health and happiness. I wouldn't have
had the nerve to do it without the encouragement I received from you and from what I learned in
your class. Thank you again for the boost of confidence.
- Lauren Shields
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Dear Dr. Gilda,
In my busy schedule, I don't think I have ever had the time to say, from the bottom of my heart, thank you
for being you-- as my professor, my mentor, and my coach.
I believe that God puts people exactly where they need to be. With that, he put you in my life, You are an
amazing and positive person that knew I needed you.
Thank you.
- Denise Mendoza
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Dear Dr. Gilda,
I enjoyed "Don't Bet on the Prince!" very much. I have been telling all my friends
(married or otherwise) that they must read it.I saw myself in that book 4 years ago when I got
divorced, and I see how much I have grown since then. But more importantly, I also see how much
more growing I have to do. As I have been getting emotionally healthier, some people have not liked
the fact that I am no longer their "doormat." I have read many, many, many relationship
books, but yours is one I will be passing on to my daughter when she is a little older.
I dated a man 2 years ago, and became overly needy with him.He broke it off, but returned months later.
While we were apart, I became the new and improved me, and things are going much better. I started back to
school (I decided I needed to take care of me because I couldn't depend on a man to do it), and I am working
2 jobs and taking care of my kids. He sees me when I have time, not on his whim, as it used to be. He knows
I have a life, and he thinks it is wonderful, and is very supportive of it.
While we were apart, I almost married a very dear friend.He is sweet, but he definitely pulled me down.
He would "joke" with me about how I was too old to go back to school, and "joke" with me
about putting on 5 pounds. My current guy is very supportive of everything I do, and we are taking it slowly
this time. He totally respects the new and improved me, and hopefully I will continue to improve every day.
Thank you for writing "Don't Bet on the Prince!"
- Delores Searight
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Dear Dr. Gilda,
Over the past month of being in what I call “The Gilda Class,” I have been forced to reach within myself. I will always take with me all that I’ve learned. I hope that you continue to be you because you are the best. You open eyes when they are closed, minds when they wander, hearts when they are hardened, and encouragement when it is needed.
You have motivated me to look at the inner person I thought I was, and to reflect with deeper introspection. I realized that I am more than an African American woman, a mother, a student, a nurse, a daughter. I am a child of God. A strong and powerful woman that has determined that she is going to succeed at all she puts her mind to. I am going to achieve each goal I place before myself. I will always look at the glass as half full rather than half empty, and I will realize with determination that I can complete all I desire. Life has many directions to travel, and they are not obstacles, but rather, diversions for the moment. I have accepted the things I cannot change, and I have redirected myself to focus on the things I can enhance and improve. I am ME!!!! –and this is my personal journey. Thank you, Dr. Gilda.
- Andrea Llewellyn
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Dear Dr. Gilda,
Thank you for writing “Don’t Bet on the Prince!,” and for putting many things into perspective for me. I am now able to approach matters from many different angles, and to exercise greater insight when discussing subjects of interest. You have not only taught me new ways to envision things, but you have also reinforced my position on issues on which I have substantial knowledge.
“You will never be loved if you can’t risk being disliked” is just one of the many Gilda-Grams you impart to the world on a daily basis. Another of my favorites is “Intimacy depends more on our willingness to trust than on our skill at sex.” This last Gilda-Gram is a truth I was told when I was becoming a young lady. Although the words were different, the message is exactly the same. It is reading it 40 years later that the clarity in the message finally shows through! And my confidence in relationships has been reinforced by the last Gilda-Gram in the book: “If he’s mine, I can’t lose him. If he’s not, I don’t want him.” That is the absolute best!
The world will now have to contend with a new force . . . ME!!! I won’t ever again bet on any prince! I will always bet on me!!!
Thank you, Dr. Gilda,
- Deborah Harris
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Dear Dr. Gilda,
In order for me to talk about my breakthroughs and appreciation, I must first go back to where I was mentally and emotionally a few weeks ago. Being alone, although by choice, I still desired companionship and love. Although I know the how’s and why’s of where I am today, I never took the time to evaluate or assess myself. Yes, I removed myself from an abusive marriage, something I continued to think was the norm, and something I continued to make excuses for. I have learned to love myself so much that I would never return to such a situation.
One discussion we had online reminded me of myself so much, I started to cry. The writer mentioned self-value, self-belief, and self-image. Learning to build these values was a distant goal for me, and it seemed so unattainable. I look back today, and say, “How could I have gone so long without these important values, which are key to survival?!”
Now that I am here, I will maintain my self-esteem, my desires and needs, my importance, my future, and I will stay out of "victim mode." I know what I had in the past, and only I can be accountable for what I will get in the future, the power of internal control. I have the power to create my destiny. Learning to promote myself without vulnerability, learning to project a Power Image, and learning to have balance are the beginning of a new world for me. I learned to ask myself, “What am I projecting?” I am a strong, empowered, and confident woman, and it’s time to project these images and bring them to life. A few weeks ago, I would never have thought there were so many levels to extend my excellence. Today, thanks to you and your well-written book, “Don’t Bet on the Prince!,” I am able to take me, myself, and I to the next level. This has truly been life changing! I have thoroughly enjoyed you!
Be Blessed,
- Sharon Rivers
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Dear Dr. Gilda,
I want to thank you for sharing stories from the developing stages of your life as it made me feel at ease to also share. This class turned out to be a very rewarding one for me. Reading your book, “Don’t Bet on the Prince!” has reinforced many of our shared views and truths about living life without feeling guilty for not pleasing others. When I do decide to give of myself it will definitely be from the overflow.
Your self-assessments helped me tremendously to know myself better, and to make changes necessary to live a balanced life. I feel men should also read your book, as it not intended "for women only." It is a valuable resource to always have on hand. I have finished it, and have passed it on to my daughter, who is 30 years old, in an abusive relationship, and is in dire need of reading it. I know she will benefit from it, and she will begin to bet on herself. Thank you so much for making this class educational, fun and, overall, a wonderful experience. I know my daughter will also thank you. Take care, God Bless and please do write another.
Sincerely,
- Rose Diaz
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